I love how you framed the girl's head with the water lily! Very simple and up to point.The model...does she have hair? Or is it tied back? Maybe you can even have her with a long braid to just rest gently on the shoulder? As much as I like the empty water showing depth at the bottom, I think it's too much negative space. I would scale up the figure and the water lily she's sitting on to get her toes closer to the bottom. The hand lettering is cute, but not as interesting as the rest. Maybe it's the letter "y" that made the composition a bit off? I like how you played with the letter "l" - the top loop is an element more unique than how you drew other letters. Not all letters should be interesting, but they should definitely look like they're from the same family. Try to take the letters as shape more, and how you can compose them to make a better composition/shapes. How can the Y shape fit better around the corner and not make an empty blue space at the bottom right? How can the lower case U shape fit with the other letters that are larger? - I see you starting to do it with weight shifts...if you are having trouble with letters, let me know. I would like to help as much as possible. I have other references too if you like. :)otherwise, great sketch! I like where it's going!
I agree with making the figure larger. This is about showing off the outfit, after all! Either that or fill the negative space with fishes or frogs. I like the fantasy element you introduce with scaling. I think of her as a sort of little summertime fairy person. The outfit even looks like something a tinkerbell-type character might wear (minus the hat).
Very creative and appropriate setting!Just make sure you get reference for your pose - I'm not sure where your model's knees are in the sketch and I don't think the perspective of her feet match up with her shoulder line.